Isn’t this exciting? I know I’ve been thrilled to puzzle out
more of Esther’s manuscript. The last section turned out really well—it was so
clear. I think today’s will be just as exciting. This is her second sort of
crisis, so again, it’s filled with drama. Esther is one amazing woman and
leader!
I’m alive! Yes … but I
lost my nerve. When I saw the king seated there on the throne … I couldn’t
confess who I was. … invited him to eat at my palace. I don’t have the faith to
ask him … but I can take one more step.
I’m such an idiot! I
feel … failure! Things didn’t go at all like I planned. … I took a step, and my
foot slipped out … under me. At the feast, I was so nervous … hand shaking as I
tried to eat. The king described … campaigns and tribute. The only thing I said
… invite him again tomorrow. … But there must be a purpose in what’s happening.
It will be … right. Tomorrow I’ll tell him.
Wow. This woman has determination and faith! She’s failing all
over the place, and I know that feeling. I freeze up and get scared all the
time. But pushing through her fear and saying something, anything, in spite of
fear? Using her weaknesses and moving beyond them? That’s a true sign of a
leader.
Another thing that’s really interesting in this passage is
that she doesn’t give up on her faith, even when it seems like her god isn’t
answering her prayers. I remember in primary school giving the prayer-thing a
try. I prayed for a celly for my tenth birthday, and I didn’t get one until I
turned twelve. It wasn’t as though I believed my prayers in the first place,
but even if I did, I would have given up at the first obstacle. Not Esther,
though—she stuck to her faith even when her world seemed full of failure.
Pretty fantastic.
